The Seer

I laugh sometimes at the ridiculous things students do for attention. I recognize, in all seriousness, that many of these students are not getting the attention they so desperately need, but sometimes I just wonder. One particular student I have has, in the last month, done the following:

• Burst into tears over simple assignments that don't have a right or wrong answer, they're just asking for opinions (explanation: "I'm just so tired!")
• Worn an ace bandage over a pair of jeans. When asked why the bandage was being worn, I was told that it was for a bruise. (?!) Next day the bandage was on again. Same leg, different location. By afternoon when said student comes to my class, the bandage had switched legs. (Snort.)
• Wrote the following: "I see the future in my dreams. It makes it easier for me to know where I should and shouldn't go." (Seeing the future, eh? Seriously? Hook me up with that sort of gift. Might come in handy.)

Yes. This student is a special sort of soul whom I occasionally ache for and mostly just try not to laugh at. Poor thing.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I was accused of being a ninth grader this week after a performance of the school play I helped to direct. I read the opening announcements for the show - things about not getting into the aisles or taking pictures or being annoying. After the show, a very kind woman pulled me aside and said in the "I'm talking to a very young, naive child who just went to the potty by herself" voice that I hate so much: "You did such a good job reading the announcements!"

"Thank you," I said with a pleasant smile that hopefully masked my annoyance. "Did you enjoy the show?"

"Oh yes. Were you in it too?"

"No, I directed it."

"Oh! Are you in ninth grade?"

"No. I'm a teacher."

I recognize that I look several years younger than I am, but that's knocking nearly ten years off of my age. No wonder I'm rarely taken seriously unless I'm overly assertive.

Last anecdote:

A few of my girls were talking this week about how they are betrothed. I'm assuming it was a joke, but I didn't hear the whole conversation. I do, however, clearly remember hearing "You're betrothed too?! We're like sisters!"

?!

Perception of Age

I was grading through some vocabulary review worksheets tonight when I came across a drawing that made me laugh. The assignment was for students to draw pictures that would help remind them of the definitions of their vocabulary words. One of our words was 'reminisce'. This led to some pretty amazing pictures.

I remember going to Europe for the first time and laughing at their perception of age. Go to England, for example, and "new" is anything built after about 1700. Nearly 100 years before America was a country. In America, old is anything from around World War Two and back, or at least that's been my experience. My students are much less aware of this.

One student drew a picture of a bearded, shrively stick figure man imagining a party and saying "I remember when I was a boy. . . " The sign said "Happy 1980".

Yeesh.